Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Ann's October Hall of Shame, 2014 Version

Here is where I will be putting all the PR letters and requests I get to promote pink items, as well as the charities that they partner with and just anything that I think adds to the pink atrocity that is the month of October.  You can make up your own mind what you think about these letters, events and sales tactics, but I think when you see them stacked in a long line at the end of the month, you will be shocked at the indignity displayed and how much this month is about selling product rather than helping anybody, and how much this infantilizes women.

This page will be continuously updated through the entire month, so please keep returning, even though the title doesn't change.  If you want to be notified when I update it, please follow my facebook page as I will notify everybody there with each update.  If you prefer twitter, follow me @butdocihatepink.

Here weeeeee goooo......

10/22/2014




Paula, I'm glad you have something to tell me.  I have something to tell you.   Here are some women who "checked" themselves.



And, one of me:





Checking yourself does not "protect yourself."  It just finds cancer.

And by the way, you dance like you are on tamoxifen.


10/21/2014

Hello Ann,

My name is XX. I am an intern with Darna & Company. We have a new product in the market called the X band. This band uses peppermint aroma therapy and acupressure to combat nausea and vomiting. We have joined with the Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa, Florida to help patients going through treatment. For every band purchased in the month of October, a patient at the cancer center will receive one free of charge. Please visit our website, X, and amazon for more information. To receive $1 off use the coupon code: SAVBOOBS. We hope that this band will bring relief to the nausea and vomiting from the trauma of the chemotherapy treatment. Please share our information with others that deal with nausea and vomiting. Thank you for your time.


Sincerely,

Intern

Dear Intern,

While I'm sure your product is helpful, and I support the Moffitt Cancer Center, I take exception to the coupon code, "saveboobs."  Breast cancer is not about saving "boobs," it is about saving lives.  And for that reason alone, I will not consider promoting your item.

You may think a coupon code is meaningless, trivial,  or the wrong thing to worry about.  But this month is full of cutesy discussions about boobs, pink,  and breast-related items.  It minimizes the disease for those of us, like me, who have end-stage cancer and will die from it. The last thing on our minds is saving our tatas.  We want to live to raise our children, to participate in life.  The area in which our cancer arises gets far too much focus, and I will not have anything to do with it. The conversation needs to be changed entirely.

While I believe Moffitt will use money in a better fashion than, say, Komen, I do not participate in the demeaning of women and what is a serious and often terminal illness.  And, I don't believe any cancer center should.  Had the code been "savelives" than I might have shared it with my network.

As an intern (in what?) I hope you will consider this point of view in the future.  It is a large one and growing fast.  Check out Breast Cancer Action, check out Think Before You Pink, check out Pink Ribbon Blues, check out my blog and facebook page and check out the various social media activites all repudiating and rejecting the pink message of boobs, survivorship and ribbons.

Best,


Ann

10/17/2014 - WAZE and Pink Ribbons




Hi, Ann-

I know we are deep into October; however, I thought this could be interesting for you. Waze has mapped all mammography screening center locations in the US to help Wazers navigate there easily (8100 places.)

Drivers will see pink ribbons on the map or can search for "Pink" in the search box.

Personally, I like this initiative because Waze is not pinkwashing - we're actually providing a service that's actionable and free.

For more information please see our official blog post is here: http://blog.waze.com/2014/10/breast-cancer-awareness-month-on-waze.html 


Let me know what you think and if this would be of interest to cover.

So, I suppose the "not pinkwashing" means there is no donation involved? My definition means using breast cancer for your own gain and continuing the spread of misinformation about it.

 I actually use this app and love it, or should I say, loved it.  I happen to be THAT person, the one who can go somewhere every day for ten years and still get lost, so in my mind, GPS is the best invention ever.

But aside from all the issues with this (who drives by and goes, "Oh, maybe I'll stop in for my mammogram?"  does nobody ever think about women who ALREADY have breast cancer during this month?  As a waze user, with metastatic (terminal) breast cancer, do you think I want to see these pink ribbons waving as I drive around? This is a reminder of the disease that will kill me.

I'm not sure I'm the one lost with this bandwagon jumping.  Waze seems to have lots its way.

When are these companies going to learn to speak to those of us with disease and see what we think before they post these things?


Oh right, "Their friend's mother's sister had cancer and so they understand."  Um hm.


If you go to their blog post, you read this:


"Breast Cancer Awareness Month is marked every year in October. While breast cancer is a very common cancer worldwide, the good news is that there are good chances for survival if the cancer is found and treated early. Therefore awareness is crucial.

For this reason, all October long, Waze will be sporting pink ribbons marking local screening centers in the US. You can also simply search the word "Pink" in order to navigate to a facility in your area. We'd like to thank community member OrbitC for his suggestion that sparked the idea for the campaign."

We hope this initiative will help raise awareness, especially regarding the need for early detection."

So I commented on their blog post, rebutting their early detection idea and their flat out lie that survival is possible if it is found early and I sent them the information.

My comment has to be approved and so I assume that it will never be shown.  I've deleted Waze off my phone.  




10/13/2014 - Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day.



We metastatic women have one day of this whole pink month dedicated to us - the only women who will die of breast cancer.

So, what does an awareness organization in the UK do?  They decide to make this "No Bra Day." Presumably, today you are supposed to walk around without a bra (what if you don't have breasts?) and raise awareness.  Yes, awareness, that is what they want to raise.  Their very clever logo is "Set the Tata's free."

They have a facebook page.

So I decided to share my opinion.  I write a nice note about how what metastatic women need at this point in time was not awareness, but money to go to research.  I was polite.  I was sensible.  I was kind.

I was banned.

I then posted on facebook and requested others make the point that cancer is not about taking off bras.  

Each and every women was banned.

They care SO MUCH about breast cancer patients that they are silencing the voices of the women who die from it.

If you take a stand, if you publicly announce it, then you should be able to back it up.  You should be able to have a conversation about it.  But they have disabled all posts to page on their site (which says quite a bit about how many women disagree with them) and if you comment on something they have posted, they ban you.

How charitable.

My suggestion?  Keep that banning finger busy.  Use the link above and politely post how you feel about sexualized campaigns in which the money raised goes towards nothing useful.



10/12/2014

Actress Wears Bra Camera to Focus on Awareness



An attractive woman with large breasts puts on a pink bra and a shirt she unbuttons to the navel, and walks around filming as eyes graze her breasts.  This ad campaign was done by Nestle to focus on awareness.

Awareness of what?  That men like to look at woman's breasts?  Awareness that if you wear a hot pink bra and an unbottoned grey shirt,  pretty much everybody is going to notice?  Awareness that we are visual creatures who look at things that are out of our ordinary daily experience?

No, it's to make you aware of cancer.

Oh, now I get it.

If Nestle has spent the costs involved in filming this video and given it to Stand Up 2 Cancer or Metavivor instead, then they might have done some good.  But no, they just took the easy way out and once again equated cancer with the area in which cancer arises.  Breasts.

Cancer is all about breasts.  Not disease, not sickness, not death.  It's breasts for men to peek at  The worst part of cancer is that we are missing breasts and men can no longer peep.


10/11/2014
Coppa Feel Foundation




So, I've known about this one since October, and each time I read about it, it renders me speechless.  This is a campaign going on in England by the "Coppafeel" foundation.  It shows a variety of breasts on billboards, which supposedly will encourage women to do breast self-exams.

Not only that, they seem to want to have tags sewn into every bra reminding women to check their breasts.

The whole focus of this charity is early detection, which we all know by now does not prevent metastases.  Many experts believe that this whole monthly ritual of self-examination is needless - women typically feel any lumps pretty early on without it (as I did).  Despite the way this organization portrays women, as childish teenagers, we are pretty savvy to our own breasts; they are not something we ignore until cancer starts to grow.  Maybe it's different in England, but here we take showers, we wash ourselves, we feel our bodies, etc.    The name of the group, Coppafeel, is clearly not about women, but is about sexually objectifying them.  Who tries to "cop feels?"  Why, pre-teen males, of course.

So what are they trying to do?

They believe that women who find cancer early are saved, despite evidence to the contrary.  They have ignored all the issues surrounding early detection such as over-diagnosis and treatment, and have come up with cutesy slogans and hashtags with sexualized messages that hurt the dignity of women rather than help highlight that we are dealing with a horrifying and fatal disease.  They have shirts with handprints across the breast, etc. (How cute!)  It is clear that their focus is on awareness rather than women who already have cancer, as so many charities are.  It's almost like once you get the disease, you are of no importance.

Once again, and I've said this hundreds of times, we do not see tags sewn into boxers reminding men to check for testicular or penile cancer.  I suppose that it's because we imagine they are grown-ups and will notice if anything is wrong, without having to be told what to do by their clothing.

This is just another example of a terrible disease that women suffer and die from being treated like a Junior High masturbation game, with the money going towards nothing that will help a single woman.

10/10/2014

JC Penney Ad Goes Tonedeaf on Breast Cancer.



Please click to read the article because I cannot say anything better than that writer did.



10/9/2014



Another cancer center that thinks it's all about bras. There is some spectacular uncreativity going on here. Do they NOT understand that they are leaving out the women who do not have breasts and thus, do not wear bras?  Can they not imaging how uncomfortable that might be for a cancer center to do?

(The cancer center in my town auctions off beautiful quilts.   They do not focus on underwear.)

10/8/2014

Komen Teams Up with Fracking Company to Create Pink Drill Bits.



In a press release that only the Onion could top, a company called Baker-Hughes has decided to distribute over 1000 pink drill bits to do their "bit" to prevent breast cancer.

I'm speechless.

From the company,

"Our hope is from the water cooler to the rig site to the coffee shop to everywhere, someone gets this information to their spouses, their girlfriends, their daughters so we can create awareness and end this disease forever,” said Bill Debo, director of operations for U.S. land drill bits at Baker Hughes.
…Each steel bit — weighing 85 to 260 pounds — is painted by hand at the company’s drill bit manufacturing facility in The Woodlands and then shipped to the drill site in a pink-topped container containing information packets with breast health facts, including breast cancer risk factors and screening tips.
The hope is that the roughneck who cracks open that container learns a little more about the disease that afflicts 200,000 women per year."
Again, I am speechless.  Something finally rendered me unable to speak.
How much did the pink paint cost?  How many man-hours did it take to paint them?  How many "roughnecks" are going to go home and say, "Oh, honey, the drill bit at work was pink, did you know about breast cancer?"
When is Marlboro coming out with cigarettes with pink filters?

I called The Breast Cancer Research Foundation a charity whore, and they are.  But they cannot top what kind of whoring Komen does.  Their legs are spread and they'll take anything for a buck, diseased or not.

Poor Susan Komen, she is rolling in her grave.  I know she hates her sister by now.  SHAME on you Nancy Brinker.  To my own sister, I know you will never be this tasteless but if you ever start a charity in my name, ETHICS FIRST!!!

Unbelievable.  This just may win my prize for the month.
10/7/14

My friend, Elizabeth Dale, wrote a blog post on HuffPo entitled "Why I Hate Breast Cancer Awareness Month."  She used an piece in the Sun as her starting point to elaborate all the problems with Pink October.  She touched on a number of reasons why this month is one we dread, and one of them she listed as "Corporate Self Interest" (which is on great display in my blog below) - and she lists the reasons why it is harmful.

While I highly recommend you read her article, here is a blurb from the part about corporations,

"What about the time and energy to hold thousands of walks, runs, and charitable events, backed by corporations looking to promote themselves? What about resources used to color everything pink? The question consumers should ask is how their money is best used to support research and prevention-not just more awareness."

She sent me this email from the PR firm involved, which highlights in hilarious detail their cluelessness:

"Hi Elisabeth,

I read your piece on the Huffington Post regarding why you hate Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I could not agree with you more regarding The Sun’s distasteful and sexualizing campaign featuring young girls who are so far from the age of women most at risk.

Another issue that I’ve found with Breast Cancer Awareness Month campaigns is that a number of organizations use a larger percentage of money donated for their own administrative costs and payroll opposed to the cause itself. That said, I wanted to introduce you to a client of mine, Hungry Howie’s Pizza (www.hungryhowies.com), a top ten American pizza franchise who has committed to donating to the National Breast Cancer Foundation, an organization who has put 100 percent of the funds the brand has donated directly to early detection programs and education.

Hungry Howie’s Pizza will be continuing its commitment to Breast Cancer Awareness month for the 6th time with the Love, Hope & Pizza campaign. During the month of October, at all Hungry Howie’s Pizza locations, pizza will be served in a pink box embellished with the National Breast Cancer Foundation logo.

Additionally, for every pizza sold and for every story of love, hope and inspiration that is shared via social media; every new Facebook fan; and every photo tagged with #LOVEHOPEPIZZA; Hungry Howie’s Pizza will make a donation to the National Breast Cancer Foundation. Fans of the brand also have the ability to purchase a Love, Hope & Pizza t-shirt online for $15.99, a rubber bracelet for $1 or a reusable shopping bag for $2 with all proceeds going directly to the fight against breast cancer.

Hungry Howie’s Pizza has already raised more than $1,000,000 to the National Breast Cancer Foundation’s Early Detection Program over the last five year—equating to more than 10,000 mammograms and other early detection education.

I look forward to your thoughts, and I thank you for your time and consideration!

Best,
Shelby

Now do you think  Shelby Lopaty from Konnect Public Relations really has a clue as to what Elizabeth's point was regarding early detection and awareness?

BIG SIGH



10/6/14 - Pink Chair




SUITE NY and Carl Hansen & Son are pleased to announce the 2014 BCRF Pink Wishbone Chair. This special edition chair is in stock and available to purchase online exclusively at SUITENY.COM
During the month of October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, 30% of the purchase price of each chair will be donated directly to BCRF.
In addition, throughout the month of October SUITE NY will be donating 15% of the total of any purchase from our QUICKSHIP program to BCRF as well.

All my best,

Suite NY

That chair, by the way, is $600.00.  Grab some pink paint, slap it on a common mid-century chair, add a few extra 0's, find a charity whore like the BCRF, and profit. Cha Ching.

If they wanted to donate money, they could have done it without trying to get publicity, right?  

I gotta say, that chair is as ugly as a mastectomy and looks as uncomfortable.

10/5/14 - Food & Wine Magazine, Twitter Fail




If ordering cocktails would cure breast cancer, why the fug have I done all that chemotherapy and surgery?  Oh, they mean to say, it CAUSES breast cancer?  Well, they are right.

Way to try to jump on the pink publicity bandwagon, food and wine magazine.


10/3/14

Wearable Tattoo Mustaches




No donation offered

What says support like a moustache that says, "I heart boobs?" that is pure profit for a company called Shindigz.   If somebody doesn't wear that to visit me in hospice, I am going to be upset.  FYI:  I have writtten several reviews on this product and the company has not posted them.  Clearly, whatever reviews are on that site are not trustworthy.

Tweet @shindigz  #mycancerisnot4sale #Ineedmorethanaribbon

10/3/2014 From KSLA News12


I can't even...

KSLA is in Texas.  General Manager is James Smith. Phone is 1-318-677-6730.  Email
jamessmith@ksla.com

He says right on his webpage he wants to hear from you.  So let him hear y'all.

UPDATE:  This was sent to him by Carla Jones, cancer survivor. She wanted credit for the photo, so no need to call the GM.  Carla, here is your byline.

By the way, she states she has another dog and will proudly post another picture.  You can never have too many dogs with pink balloons on their chest, is my thought.


10/3/14

Buy a Rack, Save a Rack.


From an alert reader:

A local rib restaurant, the Rib and Chop House in Cheyenne, Wyoming is donating a whopping 1% of their sales of a rack of ribs to Susan G Komen.  That will likely earn Komen at least 20 bucks, huh? Of which 99.99% will be spent on pink balloons, knowing how Komen (mis)uses their money. How very generous.

Testicular Cancer Awareness month is in November, so hopefully, they are planning on serving Rocky Mountain Oysters with the come on to "Eat some balls, save some balls."

307-514-0271, manager is Wade Lancester if you want to educate a cowboy restaurateur.

10/3/14


Top Electronic Cigarette Brands Promote National Breast Cancer Awareness Month



South Florida’s top brand of electronic cigarettes, V2 Cigs, is inviting everyone to show their support for National Breast Cancer Awareness Month with a free V2 Cigs Pink Lanyard. For the entire month of October and while supplies last, a free pink lanyard will be included with orders of $50 or more. Customers are encouraged to stock up on their V2 Cigs favorites and, at the same time, stand up for breast cancer awareness and early detection.

Vapor Couture, sister brand to V2 Cigs, is also promoting National Breast Cancer Awareness Month with a free gift. Vapor Couture is the only electronic cigarette brand on the market which was designed specifically for women. Customers who spend $50 or more during the month of October will receive a free VC Bracelet with a VC Charm. This stylish bracelet with charm comes in an eye-catching pink and is a great way for women to show they stand united in the fight to defeat breast cancer.

“It’s really important to us that we show our support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month,” says V2 Cigs and Vapor Couture Co-Founder, Dan Recio. “We love having an opportunity to give our customers a free gift while promoting a cause we really believe in.”

V2Cigs.com is the #1 ranked electronic cigarette website in the United States and Internationally by Alexa.com, providing quality products and consistent innovation to their customers. V2 Cigs has distinguished itself as a leader in the industry for its ever-expanding product lines, powerful vapor production and great taste. V2 Cigs provides a smokeless alternative to conventional cigarettes at a fraction of the cost. For more information, please visit V2 Cigs website at http://www.v2cigs.com/.

Note:  no money is donated to anything.  They just want to "support" breast cancer patients by encouraging people to draw chemical-laden vapor deep into their lungs, over and over, all day long.  That can't be hurtful or cause cancer at all, can it?  I am so grateful to know that every time I see somebody sucking on a fake cigarette attached to a pink lanyard, I know they will support me as I struggle to stay alive.

But if I ask them not to smoke it around me, what do you think the answer would be? 

Hmmmm?

V2Cigs Customer Service number is 1-877-37-VAPOR (1-877-378-2767).   They are on twitter so sometimes it's best to tweet at these companies - tell them #mycancerisnot4sale and remind them they are likely to be causing a whole new crop of cancer patients, not supporting them in their "battle."

10/2/14

Hi Ann,

How are you? I wanted to reach out to you with a unique media opportunity for your blog. No. 6-ranked light-heavyweight (205-pounds) UFC contender Phil Davis is as well known for his support of Breast Cancer Awareness as he is his skills inside of the Octagon.

With October being Breast Cancer Awareness month, and Phil having a fight at UFC 179 on October 25, I thought it’d be a cool feature for your readers to hear Phil’s story and the way in which he supports the cause. Sporting pink fight shorts and a pink mouth guard year round, Phil uses his platform to spread awareness and show support for his family members that have been affected by the disease.

The 30-year-old has a Bachelor’s degree in Kinesiology from Penn State University where he was a Div. I NCAA National Champion wrestler, four-time All-American and two-time Big Ten Champion. As such, he is one of the most accomplished wrestlers in the sport of mixed martial arts.

Here is an article done a few years ago about Phil and his support of Breast Cancer Awareness: http://www.fightmagazine.com/mma-magazine/pretty-in-pink-2286/.

I’d love to make Phil available to you for an interview between now and his fight. Please feel free to give me a call at 702-XXX-XXXX to discuss more in depth.

Thanks,

Paige

cid:3377171360_1463970
PAIGE BERGER | PUBLIC RELATIONS COORDINATOR

So let me get this straight....we are supposed to watch this guy beat the crap out of somebody else, while he wears pink....all to support breast cancer patients?   Do you feel supported, ladies and gentlemen?  Or, could it be that he is wearing pink shorts and a pink mouthguard and sending out a press release about it because he wants to support....himself?  (I see nothing about money being donated, yo)

Boom.


10/1/2014
From the Chicago Tribune by Barbara Brotman

Bra sculpture aims to raise breast cancer awareness




"Pioneer Court, which for a time housed a huge statue of the actress, will be home Wednesday to another oversized sculpture — a bright pink, 16-foot bra.

The bra, a vertically-hanging soft sculpture, is being placed there for the day by Advocate Health Care as part of its Stories of the Girls campaign to encourage women to seek early detection of breast cancer.

"Over 230,000 women are going to be diagnosed with breast cancer this year; nearly 40,000 will die. We just felt the need to raise awareness of early detection," said Kelly Jo Golson, senior vice president and chief marketing officer for Advocate Health Care.

"It really required something big to deliver this life-saving message with impact across the city," she said.

At 1,500 pounds, the bra qualifies.

The bra also pays tribute to the physicians, family members and friends who help breast cancer patients through treatment.

"We're calling it our 'support bra,' " Golson said."

Hahaha...support bra....get it?

Subtlety is not the City of Chicago's specialty, it would seem.  Nor is sensitivity.   Why is this connection made, between bras and cancer?  Why on earth would *anybody* think this is something we could possibly find comforting as we face a terminal diagnosis?  Why does the undergarment that covers the area where our cancer arises become so important in awareness activities?  We do not have underpants statues for Anal Cancer, do we?  And, what about prostate?  Maybe boxers for anal and briefs for prostate?

Well, it did made me think.  Every year, I get my doctor a silly tie as a Christmas gift.  It never occurred to me that a bra would just as easily be a good gift of thanks.  What do you think, Dr. B?  Which brand would be show my gratefulness to you as the man who helped me through treatment?  Victoria's Secret or Maidenform?  What's your preference?




9/30/2014




An alert reader sent me photos of this disgusting campaign at the Hard Rock Hotel in Orlando.

It seems their campaign is "in bed for a cause." and they have a woman, lying enticingly in a bed, legs in the air with a come fug me look on her face. Then they have a bed in the lobby made up with pink sheets.

They have a variety of events designed to bring "awareness" to the cause of breast cancer, including a special cocktail - alcohol is a known cause of breast cancer:

They say,

"Hard Rock is also "raising the bar" for the cause with special limited-time beverage offerings, including "Flight for the Cure," a flight of Hard Rock's pink margaritas – Watermelon, Pomegranate and Wildberry – served with pink tortilla chips and house-made salsa. Other featured PINKTOBER drinks include Hard Rock's new Red Berry Press, a sweet fruit cocktail served in a coffee-press style vessel that infuses fruit into the cocktail throughout the drinking process and a fresh, non-alcoholic Wildberry Smoothie."

The entire month is full of undignified "events" that do not acknowledge the pain and suffering that we, who have this disease, go through and die from -  and it perpetuates the myth of early detection as being the most important puzzle piece in cancer survival.

Hamish Dodds is the President and CEO of Hard Rock hotel. Corporate headquarters and phone number is:

HARD ROCK CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS
6100 Old Park Lane
Orlando, FL 32835
Phone: (407) 445-ROCK
Phone Toll Free US & Canada: 1-(888)-519-6683

Write them a letter or call, tell them that you are sick and tired of the sexualization of disease. Cancer should never be about the body part in which it arises, but about what cancer does to those who suffer from it. Women who undergo breast cancer treatment, and those who die from breast cancer, deserve dignity, not "come hither" advertising, with half open bathrobes and spread legs. Tell them it is not a party or celebration with chips and salsa, and that awareness is a myth. Explain that you know this is just a marketing opportunity for their brand and has nothing to do with cancer, and it disgusts you. Tell them until this campaign is handled with dignity you will never visit or eat at a Hard Rock property again.

Can you imagine, going into the bar and ordering this pink cancer drink (that causes cancer in susceptible people) and eating pink cancer chips.  How low can we go??

FYI:  This is what it really looks like when you go to bed with cancer:

Shame on them.

UPDATE!  I received this woman who worked for the Hard Rock and was fired after her cancer diagnoses,

Does Hard Rock’s Pinktober have a face?

Yes. Mine.

My name is Petya Petrova.

In 2010, my husband, Jordan, and I received job offers from the Casino Manager at the soon-to-open Hard Rock Punta Cana Casino. Set on one of the Dominican Republic’s most beautiful beaches, the resort was being energized by Hard Rock , with all the dazzle and glamour that go hand-in-hand with this iconic brand. We were excited to be part of the opening team, with the promise of solid employment and life in paradise. I didn’t realize at the time that I was embarking on what would become a personal nightmare.

There was wonderful camaraderie and an upbeat feeling in the early days. Our co-workers were lovely and we believed that we were all part of something special. Jordan and I loved our jobs. I was a pit boss (or pit manager) and Jordan eventually was promoted to casino shift manager.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012. My treatment involved surgery (mastectomy), 28 radiation therapies and 6 chemotherapy treatments, all successfully concluded during my medical leave of absence. The thought of living a happy, productive life kept me going throughout this ordeal. I was excited about returning to my job at Hard Rock Punta Cana and driven by the desire to be back to normality. In my heart I felt I had "beaten" cancer, although I continue treatment and evaluation. I proudly wore my Hard Rock Pinktober pin on my blouse every day, as I prepared to go back on the casino floor.

After several months back on the job, I was fired on October 4, 2013. To my surprise and disappointment, this occurred at the start of October, a very special month for all women who, like me, have struggled and survived. The Hard Rock Casino General Manager responsible for my dismissal and the Human Resource Manager offered me a severance payment which was both inaccurate and miscalculated, according to the labor laws of the country. The attitude with which it was presented was one of take it or leave it and i was told I had to sign my acceptance immediately or the deal was off the table. I did not accept their terms.

My husband had also been fired without explanation, prior to my dismissal, and I couldn't help but feel that we had both been discarded by the casino's current manager. We were not offered airfare home to our native Bulgaria and were basically left jobless and stranded. This insensitive and abusive behavior was a terrible shock to me, in the middle of my treatment and recovery. With no means of support, we decided to return home to Sofia, Bulgaria.

I filed a lawsuit in the Dominican labor court against the casino company and Hard Rock and subsequently traveled 36 hours, from Bulgaria, to attend the hearing. Against the advice of my doctors, I insisted on being present at the court out of respect and because I believed in my justifiable claim. I wanted all present to put a face to my name.

To add insult to injury, the Hard Rock casino lawyers claimed in court that the reason for my dismissal was that I did not do my job. This claim was documented in a letter from the casino Human Resource Director. Fortunately, we were able to present testimony from a number of witnesses to refute that claim. Good people, including medical doctors, other employees and clients, stood up for me.

After his deliberations concluded, the judge ruled in my favor, acknowledging the validity of my lawsuit. My correct severance was paid, although we had to resort to coercive legal measures to obtain payment.

My appeal has now been filed for damages. I know this entire process has taken a significant toll on my health, both physically and emotionally. I have medical affidavits to prove this. It is still difficult to believe that a company I trusted and to which I gave my best efforts would fire me without just cause and attempt to destroy any chance I might have of future employment by defaming my professional competence.

My work was an important part of my recovery. For all the pretty posters and t -shirts, pink bathrobes and guitar pins, it seems the company's support of Pink October does not include standing by one of its own employees, in her ongoing efforts to return to a productive life and to deal with this terrible disease and its long-term consequences.

Regardless of the outcome, I believe I am the true face of Hard Rock's "Pinktober". Corporations have a moral responsibility towards their employees and ethical conduct is fundamental to building from within and keeping the brand alive. Behind the guitar logo, there's a whole bunch of people….employees like me.

As a breast cancer survivor, I hope women everywhere will hear my story and wear a pink ribbon for us all. Let's join together to remind corporations that we are real people, not a marketing tool. This is not about a single job, a catchy slogan like "take time to be kind" or an imaginary "vibe". . .It's about women standing proud.

I am Petya Petrova and yes, I am Pink October Strong.

I would like to thank you for the interest of my story and your help sharing it.


3/30/14

This is not a PR letter but a terrible campaign nonetheless:

This is from University Hospital Seidman Cancer Center.  They have an October "get your mammogram" drive that they titled, "Woman Up."

As in, be a woman and do the right thing and get your mammogram.


While I won't argue with their focus as a hospital (despite popular belief, I'm not anti-mammogram, I just believe they are over-inflated in today's society), I do argue with the "Woman Up" logo and the tons of pink on their page and the joyous "we are in this together vibe" which destroys the reality of cancer.  Mostly, as a cancer center, they ought to realize that men get breast cancer too, and in fact, men probably are the ones surprised that they get it.  A "man up, get your mammogram" approach might be more useful.

Find me a woman in this country that doesn't know she is supposed to get a mammogram.

One. I be you can't.  In fact, I'm tempted to stand on a street corner for a day and ask this question.  Hmmm.....

Curious to know what my male friends who get breast cancer think about this logo.  


9/24/2014
Hi Ann,
My name is Kristen and I’m an Inbound Marketing Coordinator at SaleAMP, an internet marketing agency located in Austin, Texas. One of my clients is Johnny Carino’s, an authentic Italian restaurant chain.
We are looking to partner with you to raise money for the National Breast Cancer Foundation and Young Survivor Coalition. We would love if you could simply add a banner to your site throughout the month of October to encourage your readers to check out Johnny Carino's Big Crush Campaign, which helps “crush out cancer” with these amazing organizations and also gets your readers some great freebies and discounts! Johnny Carino’s patrons who donate $2 to the National Breast Cancer Foundation will receive a $5 gift card. Also, glasses of wine will be just $5 every day of the week during the promotion.
Since 1997, the Carino's Foundation has raised and donated more than $2.7 million to charities and organizations that serve local communities. Johnny Carino’s did a similar promotion to this one around Mother’s Day, and thanks to websites like yours raising awareness, it was able to donate over $25,000 to the National Breast Cancer Foundation.
More than 40,000 women die of breast cancer every year. It is bloggers like you who help spread awareness and truly make a difference in finding a cure for this horrible disease. I’m sure we all know someone who has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Let’s join together and help out an amazing cause!
I would like to provide you with our Big Crush campaign banner to display on your blog throughout October to encourage your readers to check out Big Crush and see what it’s all about! This is a great opportunity to give back to the National Breast Cancer Foundation and the Young Survivor Coalition while getting some tasty incentives from Johnny Carino’s.
Please let me know if you’re interested in participating in this amazing campaign and I will send the banner over to you to place on your blog. I look forward to hearing from you.

Best,
Kristen
kjones@saleamp.com

512-782-0148

Dear Kristen,

Basically, you want me to advertise a restaurant for free?  Worse, you want me to advertise that people should buy alcohol, a known risk factor in breast cancer?  And you think I'm willing to do it because I have a cancer blog (named I Hate Pink, by the way) and thus I MUST support ANY breast cancer charity no matter what they do?


You have never read my blog, have you?

FYI:  I am one of those 40k women who will die of breast cancer.  And, most of us find these kinds of campaigns incredibly insensitive and it is TIME that you PR firms understand our viewpoint.  You all walk in little straight pink lines without an inch of creativity.

Love,


Ann

ACTION ITEM:  Please contact Johnny Carino's and tell them that selling alcohol to promote breast cancer awareness does the exact opposite, and that drinking alcohol is linked to breast cancer, particularly triple negative.  Please tweet this post out with #mycancerisnot4sale.  And, finally, be aware that the National Breast Cancer Foundation will do just about anything or accept anything for their charity.  If they cared about women with cancer, they would not accept money from the sales of alcohol.  These are the same people who were involved with the scandalous "motorboating" campaign of last year.    The Young Survival Coalition is purely and educational charity and donates nothing to research.  Their focus, like the Keep a Breast foundation, seems to be green initiatives.  And it seems funny that people who are worried about chemicals causing cancer would also be promoting drink specials, eh?

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

YourCareMoments Endorsed



As we all know, cancer is expensive.  Even if you are able to stay in your job, which I was not lucky enough to do, or if you have great insurance, as I fortunately do, there are unexpected expenses that come along with having cancer.  From prescriptions, to hospital parking, to creams for radiation burn; Biotene mouthwash, scarves, books - it goes on and on.  Even with the best insurance, cancer is not without its costs.

Making a little money from home has served me well.  I've done some writing, I have sold some jewelry and I've taken surveys. It is important to me to have a little of my own money coming in.   Being a world famous blogger, companies find me and ask me to participate so it’s easy for me. Now, I found one that I can share with you.

A company called YourCareMoments will pay you to share your cancer experiences.  They want to hear your story, from going to the doctor’s office, to taking meds, to picking drugs up at the pharmacy.  Basically, they want to understand your healthcare story to better understand how the companies they work with can help you.

Your information is kept private.  It is aggregated so that it can be used to tell pharmaceutical companies how we cancer patients manage and what we need.  Your name and your disease will never be tied together or used negatively.  Can you be certain?  Well, I believe it.  I've researched it. I sent many notes to the company representative, and we had a long email conversation about it before I decided to mention it.  Like a doctor, the rule of this blog for cancer patients is First, Do No Harm.  I won’t recommend anything I’m not satisfied is true.

Hey, I know not everybody wants every detail of their disease out there! (Like me....)

Most of us can use a few extra dollars.  Okay, maybe not Angeline Jolie or Amy Robach….but the rest of us wouldn't see $5.00 lying on the floor and ignore it.

Not only can you help companies understand the needs of a cancer patient, which can improve services in the future – you can get paid.  It’s not a lot, but considering the average survey takes 1 to 3 minutes, it is practically commitment-free.  The payment is between $3 to $15 per survey.  It adds up, and they say the average person makes about $30 a month.  Certainly, you won’t be buying diamonds but you can pick up a medication, buy a scarf or a new lipstick to brighten your day.  But in my mind, the most important thing you will be doing is telling your story so that pharmaceutical companies can act in our best interests.

The only hitch is you need  a Paypal account.  But Paypal is easy to sign up for.  I've had one for many years and have never had a problem with it – my credit cards have been breached but my Paypal never has. (knock wood).

You can register at Register at YourCareMoments.  (They have my name attached to the link for tracking purposes, I will not receive anything if you sign up.)

Registration takes less than five minutes but please note that you have to have a valid email address. You will be sent a verification link to be certain you are a person.

Hey, you don’t have to trust me.  Here are all kinds of links that will help you check it out for yourself.

  *   Facebook
  *   Twitter
  *   Google+
  *   LinkedIn

My feeling about these things is that pharmaceutical companies and other people who provide product and services to cancer patients really need to understand what we go through so I usually participate.  I do think that this will help us all.

Happy surveying!

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Putting the "What's Under Our Shirt" Campaign to Rest

 I received this latter from AirXpanders CEO Scott Dodson today,

Dear Ms. Silberman,

On behalf of AirXpanders I would like to sincerely apologize for the insensitive outreach that you received last week on behalf of our company.  This language was neither reviewed or approved by the company and its trivialization of breast cancer patients worldwide is unacceptable.  As you know, we have worked with Lazar Partners to have this campaign taken down immediately and will not proceed with it or any other campaign in its place.

As a company, we fully support a woman’s right to choose what treatment may be right for them based on their particular situation.  It is equally unbelievable to us that over half of the women who present for mastectomy are never told what their options are for reconstruction; however, through state inspired legislation and the great work at the ASPS, this too is changing.

Nevertheless, the points that you and your peers have brought up are incredibly valid and we will take them to heart in the positioning of our technology at the appropriate time.  Our device simply creates an anatomical space under the chest muscle for a permanent implant following a mastectomy.  In a clinical setting it has shown that it can help patients reach full expansion faster than the technology that is currently used without needles and can be controlled by the patient based off of her comfort.  Any other claim or inference that it can do anything else is unfounded and not supported by the company.

Personally, my mother was successfully treated for malignant ovarian cancer which as you know is genetically quite similar to breast cancer.  She now approaches every mammogram with the fear that she will have recurrence or develop breast cancer independent of her previous surgery.  Equally, virtually everyone in our company has had their or someone they love’s lives touched by breast cancer.  With a 1 in 8 prevalence rate I am sure that it is this way everywhere.

Again, please accept my apology and acknowledgement that the inappropriate and insensitive inferences sent to you and other individuals will never occur again.  In the future we will make donations to charities and foundations that support curative measures and helping women understand their treatment options for breast reconstruction.  

With Sincerest Regards,

Scott
________________________________________________________
Scott Dodson
President & CEO

So I think we can say we successfully let all involved know how we feel about out cancer being minimized, sexualized and reduced to the place where it grew -  and at least one firm will not be using the sexy melon terminology when trying to sell a product to cancer patients again.

So I want to thank everybody who jumped in with me to make our voices known, or who worked with the other bloggers involved who were as outraged as I was at this insensitive social media campaign.

All I truly want is to educate people about this disease and how it should be portrayed.

I've come a long way myself since I started this blog and we can't expect people to get it instantly, especially in a world where pink is used to sell porn, and motorboating women for cancer charities is considered acceptable.  But we have done our small part to enlighten and for that, I thank you all.


Monday, September 15, 2014

BRA Day "What's Under Our Breasts" Update

(Excuse errors and typos, I am having technical issues but I wanted to get the gist of this online)

I received an email from Ms. Hollister Hovey of the PR firm that sent out that crass and insensitive letter.  She asked for my phone number so she could apologize in person and we did managed to speak yesterday.   I expressed my disbelief that a  PR Firm devoted to Healthcare could miss the mark by so much, and I shared how we cancer patients feel about these campaigns.  She agreed that it was insensitive but said that it was intended for early stage women, or women who were doing prophy mastectomies.  I explained that these women also fall under the cancer umbrella and they don't want what they experienced sexualized or trivialized any more than we with metastatic disease do.  I said that if they wanted to discuss how one might appear after a mastectomy using a special expander, perhaps focusing on something other than sexuality was wise - we are a lot more interested in looking at ourselves and not thinking "cancer" than looking at ourselves and saying "I am gonna get some tonight."  There was my contribution to the world of marketing!

She acknowledged that they had gone very off-track, and I think we had a productive conversation. She ended by saying she would like to donate money to the breast cancer charity of my choice (I said StandUp2Cancer and Metavivor) and I offered to be an ear in case they ever wanted to get a cancer patient's perspective.

She followed up with a letter:

Ann,
Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me earlier.
First, we want to apologize again for the inappropriate approach and language used in the now-cancelled BRA Day campaign about which we emailed you and a handful of other people. The campaign and note absolutely minimized the seriousness of the issues at hand and lacked the respect you and all women fighting this disease deserve. It detracted from the very honorable core goal of the campaign: to ensure that women who are facing a terrifying diagnosis understand all their options.
We are dedicated to helping you and other patients change the dialogue around breast cancer so that all patients are treated with the dignity they deserve at all times. We fully agree that, as a society, we need to turn the focus to the patient and the cancer itself, away from the organ in which that cancer developed. 
To that end, we will make a donation in your name to Stand-Up to Cancer and METAvivor, charities we know you support, as well as the Metastatic Breast Cancer Network. We would also like to discuss positive ways we could possibly work together to support education that allows women to be fully aware of their options when facing such a terrifying diagnosis and the complex web of choices they will have to make about their health and bodies.
We also absolutely agree that more attention needs to go to innovation and clinical research that could lead to new therapies and technologies that have the potential to help women live longer and make cancer a significantly smaller part of their lives.
We sincerely hope that the mistakes made with this effort can lead to a positive dialogue about how women living with and fighting breast cancer deserve to be treated.
Sincerely,
Hollister Hovey. Lazar Partners Ltd.

So I congratulate Lazar Partners for withdrawing the campaign and listening to our voices.  (Although where this idea that women don't know their reconstruction choices came about is beyond me.  In my experience, everybody knows what is available.)

Many of us received the below letter from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons:

Dear Ms. Silberman
Thank you for calling to our attention the highly inappropriate campaign which improperly references the Breast Reconstruction Awareness campaign.  We have taken action to demand that this social media campaign be halted immediately and have disassociated our Society from this campaign.

The Breast Reconstruction Awareness Campaign was created to educate and empower the high percentage of women and men who are unaware of their reconstructive options and rights following mastectomy.   It was initiated to support those who have fought legislative battles for reconstructive options for many years.   The campaign also raises funds to provide medical care for breast cancer patients as well as for scientific research and public awareness.  There is no commercial aspect to this campaign.

As physicians, our members will not accept the trivialization of breast cancer in any manner.   Our members provide post-mastectomy care as an integral part of the breast cancer patient's medical team and only wish to provide the best care possible once the patient has been fully informed of all treatment options.

Thank you, again, for informing us of this campaign and feel free to contact us if you wish to discuss further.    Please accept our deepest apologies for the insensitive language to which you were subjected.

Respectfully,

Robert X. Murphy, Jr., MD
President

Michael D. Costelloe
Executive Vice President





Friday, September 12, 2014

Bra Day, another metastasis

I was stunned to get this in my inbox today.

Dear Ann,

Boobs are so much more than just “the girls” or “melons.” They’re fabulous. They make us feel sexy, whether we’re in our best outfit, lounging around in our favorite flannel PJs, or just bare butt naked. This fall, we want to spread this sensation of beauty and breast empowerment to breast cancer patients and survivors, as well as women nationwide.

Many women who undergo mastectomies aren’t adequately informed about breast reconstruction options and reimbursement.  In order to help raise awareness of these available options, we’re celebrating National BRA Day 2014 (October 15), in affiliation with the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, with a grassroots social media campaign using the hashtag #WHATSUNDERHERE.
Each participant receives a t-shirt with the #WHATSUNDERHERE hashtag on the front. In addition to the t-shirt, each kit comes with a set of cards with fun and thought-provoking sayings, such as: “Is Cancer Free,” “Looks Great Naked,” “Will Not Take Cancer Lying Down,” among others.

AirXpanders – a local Bay Area company developing a new, patient-assisted, needle free tissue expander for breast cancer patients following mastectomies – invites you to join us for this exciting campaign. Breast Reconstruction Awareness (BRA) Day is an annual event in celebration of women who have undergone treatment for breast cancer, and to promote education, awareness and access regarding post-mastectomy breast reconstruction.

If you’re interested in participating, we’ll send you a #WHATSUNDERHERE t-shirt and social media kit so you can help get the discussion going on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest throughout October Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

We want as many people as possible to put on the shirt, choose a phrase (or make one up!) that describes their situation and then post a picture of it to their favorite social media platforms.

AirXpanders will post its own tweets and posts as well as retweet and share content from the individuals posting photos.  We hope the campaign will be a fun way to spread awareness of reconstruction as an option that mastectomy patients should discuss with their doctors.


Let us know if you’re interested and we’ll get the kit out to you in the next two weeks!

Best regards,

Liz Lieber


Elizabeth Lieber
L A Z A R   P A R T N E R S   L T D
420 Lexington Avenue, Suite 442
New York, NY 10170
646-871-8486 (direct)
212-867-1762 (main) ext. 486
212-867-0856 (fax)
elieber@lazarpartners.com
www.lazarpartners.com


As you can see, this is yet another campaign to sell product (AirExpanders) to cancer patients under the guise of helping us.  This company wants us to ask our doctors for this type of expander so they can sell more of it.  Make no mistake, it is not designed to help us, it is designed to help them.

Almost worse is the insensitive language they use.  Once again, it is all about breasts and sex and nudity and "melons."  There is no mention of disease, suffering and death in there, which is what cancer is really all about.  Once again, it is the trivialization of breast cancer.

So I wrote back.  The letter is below.  But this time I am giving you all an action item:

1. If you see any of these hashtags, I want you to use the hashtag back #mycancerisnot4sale.  I want you to use that hashtag every time you see any of these facebook games or anything in October.  If you like, point people to my blog or another blog to educate them about what is really going on.

2. I left the name of the person who wrote and presumably composed this horrible letter at the bottom so feel free to contact her with your thoughts.  (Trust me, this is not a private letter, many bloggers received it).  

3.  I want you to contact the American Society for Plastic Surgeons and let them know how you feel about "Bra Day.  Let them know you are sick of the disease of cancer being reduced to the part of the body in which it appears.

The Executive Vice President is Michael Costelloe, (847) 228-3336. Email is mcostelloe@plasticsurgery.org.
Heather Gates is the Director of Communications, (847) 981-5408, hgates@plasticsurgery.org. Maureen Jouhout is the Senior Manager of Marketing and Communication (847) 709-7501 mjouhet@plasticsurgery.org.
The Board of Directors President is Robert X. Murphy, Jr., MD (His email address is not listed but in keeping with the way they do things it may be rmurphy@plasticsurgery.org.

4.  And, we must contact AirXpanders, the company who is trying to viral market this expander product in such an incredibly crass way.  They are reachable via twitter.

Scott Dodson, President & CEO
Barry Cheskin, Co-Founder and Chairman of the Board
Twitter:  @Airxpanders

AirXpanders Inc.
1047 Elwell Court
Palo Alto, CA 94303

650.390.9000 Main
650.390.9007 Fax

Here is the letter I wrote to the PR firm:  


Dear Liz,
Over the years, as I have struggled with my terminal disease (breast cancer that has spread to my liver) I have heard some crass and insensitive pitches.  But yours is right up there with the worst of them.

Not only will I not be taking part in selling product under the guise of educating women about their reconstruction options, I will be actively fighting against this.  As a woman who has nearly 2 million hits on her blog, who has 4 thousand facebook likes and 1600 twitter followers, I will be starting a campaign against this insensitive "bra day" and all other pink awareness campaigns like it.  We will be tweeting out #mycancerisnot4sale each time we see this ugliness, and will be pointing out the hypocrisy and insensitivity to everybody we know.
Breast cancer is not about breasts, or sex, or, God help you, "melons."  It is a horrible disease that takes the lives of good men and women, like your mother, like your sister - like me.
In the past three years, I have done 7 different chemo drugs.  I have done 3 targeted drugs.  I have had half my liver removed to try to remove the cancerous part.  I have had part of my liver ablated.  When those things didn't work, when cancer grew back,  I had gamma knife radiation.  I got sepsis and was seconds from dying and it took months to recover.  And recover for me does not mean health.  I have lost my job, my son has grown up with a terminally ill mother - I've lost my body and I have lost my energy.  Reconstruction and breasts is the least of my worries and is the least of the worries of most of us who get this disease.  
You are going to find a lot of pushback against this horrifying campaign on blogs, on facebook and on twitter. You can read my blog at http://www.butdoctorihatepink.com to see this campaign highlighted soon.  In the meantime, please read this post and educate yourself.
Women with metastatic disease have long known how cruel it is to use our disease in this manner, but we are finally getting newly diagnosed women on board. We are joining together to unfurl the pink ribbon and put it away for good.   It is time our disease is not used as a method to sell product.   I will also be contacting the American Society of Plastic Surgeons to explain our position.
What is under our shirts are scars and pain and physical manifestations of the torture we have experienced to stay alive.  What is under our shirt is the knowledge that our children will lose their mothers, that our husbands will be alone.  What is under our shirt is sorrow that we will miss weddings, graduation, grandchildren.  What is under our shirt is strength and power.
What is not under our shirt is "melons."
You should be ashamed.


EDIT:  Here is the letter I wrote to the emails I had for the American Association of Plastic Surgeons.   Please feel free to take what you like to create your own letter.


Dear Mr. Costelloe, Dr. Murphy, Ms Gates and Ms. Jouhet,
Today, I received an incredibly offensive email regarding something called Bra Day, which apparently your organization is associated with.  Not only is this social media campaign unprofessional, hurtful and quite insensitive - coming from an association of physicians it is actually astounding.  
Isn't it unethical to use a disease to sell a reconstruction product in this manner?  Are plastic surgeons so interested in money that they will stoop to anything?  Can you imagine how it feels to have end-stage breast cancer and receive an email discussing "melons," being butt naked, and be offered cards that say "looks great naked."  Your organization, of all people, should know that is impossible - and not really the focus of our treatment to begin with.  
Do we do this kind of thing with ANY other disease?   What kind of other cancer reconstruction do we have social media campaigns to sell product for?  Do you sell drool products for facial cancer patients with cute hashtags  like "stoptheflood?"
  (I put the letter I wrote to "Liz" above right here)
And, you should be ashamed as well.  Many of the bloggers who received this email are horrified and posting its disgraceful contents.  Many are crying.   All feel like this campaign has nothing to do with those of us with cancer.
My blog is here:  http://www.butdoctorihatepink.com, and I have posted all the communications as well as your contact information.  This is spreading like wildfire through facebook and soon twitter and I have posted your information so that others can express their displeasure.  It is time that we treated breast cancer like the disease it is, and not like a big pink sex toy.  If we can't expect that from marketers, we should CERTAINLY be able to expect it from our physicians.
I am respectfully requesting that this campaign be stopped now, that you will not be a party to selling any product to breast cancer patients,  and that you put out a statement stating that you will not be participating in anything called "bra" day or any kind of social media campaign that diminishes or disrespects breast cancer patients.

And firing this company would be nice too.
I will await your reply,

Sincerely,
Ann Silberman

And, because AirXpanders does not have email, I contacted them through their page and sent them here.  And, I will find them on twitter and tweet this page to them.  You do it too.  @airxpanders.  Marketing to cancer patients in this way is reprehensible.


.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Pinktober, Metastasized

For weeks now, I have been getting emails from PR companies that start like this,

Dear But Doctor I Hate Pink,
With Breast Cancer Awareness month fast approaching, we wanted to take the time to introduce you to our product, the Pink Crapola JunkYouDon'tNeed.  10% of the sales of this very special Crapola will go towards Useless Awareness Charity Du Jour, which we are proud to say will do absolutely nothing to help any actual breast cancer patient, but which will certainly line our client's pocketbooks with profits as well as giving them a tidy little write-off.  Will you please promote it without even a review sample, so that we can have some free advertising too?  After all, it's for your kind.
Sincerely,

WeDontCareAboutYou, Inc.


Pinktober used to be only in October, but now, like all good cancers, it is spreading throughout the rest of the year, metastasizing, taking over, strangling functioning parts, and making cancer patients vomit all year round.

Not only does the pink takeover disturb metastatic breast cancer patients, who understand that this cause marketing is not their cause, it also disturbs many knowledgeable early stage women, who are reminded of their suffering year after year, and who also understand that the money does not go towards a cure.  And, of course, when the White House is lit pink,  people with other cancers, such as lung, colon, and ovarian feel like the only important patients are breast cancer patients, and that our discomfort is elevated over theirs.  They don't know we hate it too.

I am trying to be the chemotherapy to this metastasis, slowing it down or stopping it, and the only way that will work is if we all combine our molecules to gain power. We must refuse to cooperate in the big pink scam, refuse to buy a pink ribbon product and let the companies know why. We must share information about mets and the uselessness of the idea of awareness with everyone we know. We have to beat them at their own game.

This October is the first one in years that finds me in decent health, thank you Perjeta, Herceptin and Dr. B.  In the coming month, I'll be devoting this blog and my facebook page to sharable information about metastatic disease as well as facts about how the pink charities do not help save the lives of breast cancer patients and in fact, seem to be doing harm.  Along with other metsters, I am going to point out foolishness, hypocrisy, greed, lies, insensitivity, and what I call "the don't get it itis".

Sound exiting?

Let's start now, shall we?

I was sent this little nugget of awareness by a facebook friend. Because she may be treated at this cancer center, I don't want to name her.  But she was passing by and saw this little gem:



Do you see what that is?  It is a bra decorating contest. "A breast cancer prevention event."   One put on by a hospital, the Cheryl Lindenbaum Cancer Center, to be exact.  For awareness, of course. You can enter the contest and make your mammogram appointment at the same time, because mammograms and decorated bras and contests prevent or uh, make you aware...or ...uh....wait, what?

Aha.  Found a press release put out by the hospital.  Explains it all.

According to Anne Campbell-Maxwell, Director of Oncology Services,  “We are asking people to decorate a bra as a way to tell their breast cancer story, whether it’s their own story or the story of a friend or loved one. The bras will be judged the night of our big event. It’s a fun night that we hope will educate the public on prevention and early detection of breast cancer.’’

I don't know what to say.

Wait, yes I do; you know I do.

Somehow, this hospital decided decorating bras is a breast cancer prevention event. This is alarming news to those of us who have preferred plain beige and black bras.  No wonder I got cancer. Damn. Why didn't I go for the sequined ones?  I might still have both breasts and have avoided five years of awful treatment (so far) if I had just gone blingy.

But hey, at least I can tell my cancer story, right?   I can jam five years of treatment and a terminal diagnosis into one 36C decorated bra. (As long as I don't forget the straps.)   At least the bra is my (former) size so maybe I still have a few tucked away. Hmmm... I'm not sure how I can get the c-diff sepsis in there though, or the liver surgery.  Some stories require a 38DD.

All jokes aside, it is infuriating is that this woman, a Director of Oncology Services, (whatever that is)  says they are trying to educate women on how to prevent breast cancer.

Okay, Anne. How?

Um hmm, that's what I thought.

Prevention is a Myth
Hospitals should know there is no way to prevent breast cancer.  Saying otherwise is an irresponsible statement, and it's no mistake by this cancer center, it has been going on for 3 years.

The fact is, science does not know what causes breast cancer.  Sure, there is the nasty BRCA genes, which can strongly indicate that breast and ovarian cancer might be headed your way, but even in that population, not everybody gets cancer.  For the vast majority of us who do not carry the BRCA gene and who got breast cancer anyway?  It's a mystery.   Despite shady websites telling us otherwise, it is not what we ate or drank or where we lived, it's not chemicals we inhaled, or petting our cat too often or wearing plain bras.  

Nobody knows.  It's likely a complicated mix of all of the above, with a dollop of bad luck.  Cancer, my friends, has been around since the dinosaur days and they have found breast cancer in Egyptian mummies.  It's just as wrong to state you know what causes it as it is to pretend that the cause is from chemicals in your hair gel (so buy my natural gel). It is infinitely worse coming from a hospital rather than somebody trying to profit by selling you a book, because the level of trust is much higher.

Location, location
It is peculiar to the breast cancer world that the location of our cancer becomes the focus of the cancer, over the disease itself.  So yes, charities decorate bras for cancer, and men try to motorboat women's boobs for cancer awareness (ha!), and people make breast shaped cupcakes.  This all trivializes the cancer experience, especially for those of us who have mets.

Nobody ever made a liver cupcake for me.  Maybe it's because it's hard to cut a cupcake in half. Thank God my surgeon could do it.

After 7 different chemos, having half my cancerous liver removed, gamma knife radiation to the remaining half, sepsis,  and a few other drugs and surgeries sprinkled here and there - after five years of being truly, horribly sick, I can tell you that it is not a cute, fun little disease that you can play with or have a party about.  Breast Cancer is the most trivialized disease in history. Precisely because of events like these, many people don't understand that we are still dying.

Including the Director of Oncology Services at a hospital?  Why is a hospital associating bras with breast cancer?

I wonder if this cancer center does this with other undergarments in relation to other cancers?  After all, their tagline, "Jazz Up your Foundation" fits many cancers.

Do they have a tighty whitey decorating party for anal cancer?  Let's put a little brown glitter around the back end of the underwear, hey?  Maybe some red sequins to show one of the signs that cancer lurks in that area?  Yeah, let's tell that cancer story through decoration.   Or, how about decorating a banana hammock for testicular cancer?  I'd cover mine with ping pong balls, perhaps using a bit of blue embossing powder.  Of course, the obvious choice is decorating a hat for a glioblastoma.  Wouldn't that be fun?  I think I'd pick a fedora, cover it with grey sequins and then use the aforementioned glitter, this time in red, to add in a tumor.  I would add some streamers to symbolize the seizures that are sure to come.

How delightful!

When so many women's bras in real life are decorated with nothing but a prosthesis, a hospital should be a bit more careful about what they decide is "fun," don't you think?

Winning!
It's not only a party to tell one how to prevent breast cancer, it is a contest.  I wonder what the prize is?  Oddly, they don't say.

If you turn in your decorated bra (don't forget the clean margins edge decoration!)  and sign up for your mammogram, and it turns out you have cancer, will they give you half your bra back?  They say you are allowed to use glue, but what about glues with chemicals?  I mean, they have the prevention secret, they should know if that is safe or not, right?  Maybe your prize is a free PET scan; certainly, that is valuable.

If this hospital or charity relies on donations and they are spending money on this, is this the best possible use of funds?  If I donated to them, or their partner charity, Support Connection, I would think twice.

Questions
How does decorating a bra help help people become aware about how to prevent cancer, Ms. Campbell-Maxwell? Because, I truly do not get the connection.  Why bras?  Why not a canvas, or a quilt, or a scrapbook page?  Cliche much?  What about men who get breast cancer, do they still tell their story with a bra?  Or are you totally leaving the men out?

We know you can't educate on prevention because nobody can prevent cancer.  You can talk about screening and early detection, but what do you think about educating people on the tragedy of over-treatment?  

What does a Director of Oncology Services do?  Can you get me a pedicure while I'm having my infusion?  If you are responsible for patient support, what do you imagine metastatic women who have suffered for years and are dying think about your bra display party?

That their own hospital thinks they could have prevented their cancer, maybe?  That you think they are at fault?  Supportive.

I posted this event on my facebook page, and within minutes after posting, these are the words that appeared: sophomoric, patronizing, crass, disrespectful, undermines the real pain and suffering of women, ridiculous, out of touch, shocking, tasteless, absurd, tacky, stupid. And that was just the start.

Those words would apply to anybody throwing this sort of event, even for charity, even for a worthy charity (this is not a charity event), but there are times you give credit for ignorance mixed with a big heart and you let the big heart win.

When it is a hospital, it is inexcusable.  Hospitals are supposed to be about science, and include ALL patients.

Apparently, it's all about the breasts, even in a hospital, even from the Director of Oncology Services.   It is not about a tragic disease that has taken good people:  my friends, your mothers, your relatives, loved ones, sisters and brothers.  It's boobs and bras.  When will the trivialization of our very real disease end?  Who will be brave enough to stand up and speak up and say enough is enough?

You, that's who.

Welcome to Pinktober, Metastasized.






Monday, September 1, 2014

Three Book Reviews: Mani-Pedi Stat, The Art of Adapting, Living Without the One You Cannot Live Without

I love to read and always have.  Unfortunately, I have had some difficulty the past few years.  I think chemo-brain has made reading a struggle:  concentration, memory and the ability to stay awake are all critical skills when reading a book.  After my 3rd chemo, my taste had changed from New York Times Notable books to Chick-Lit and YA, after my 5th chemo I could only manage newspaper cartoons and after my 7th chemo I was down to BuzzFeed click bait.

Cancer definitely changed my brain.

I've been feeling a bit more normal and back on track, able to concentrate slightly more than a year ago.  I am not back to full-functioning and I suspect I never will be again, after all, I will be on treatment for the rest of my life.  But still, it is nice to complete a book again, without my mind wandering, without the sudden inability to remember who the characters are, and the distraction of putting the book down and forgetting where it was and then when finding it, having to start all over because I'd forgotten the plot.

As a world famous blogger, people sometimes ask me to review books.  I've been saying no to these offers for a while for the above reasons.  Sadly, I have disappointed a few authors and one even a friend, by promising to read their book and review it, and then totally forgetting my offer and that the book existed. Whoosh, just gone from my mind.  I certainly don't want to keep that up, I do have integrity. Sometimes you don't realize you can't do something that you used to do until you have had some fails - that's the charm of chemo, my friends.  So I decided just to say no to all books.

And, the offers dwindled, and all was well.

Recently, somebody new in the PR world found me and asked me if I wanted to read and review some books.   I decided I was feeling better, clearer, and more able to concentrate, so I said yes.

We have to adjust to our disabilities, right?   So knowing I am super forgetful, I put the books in a special place before I read them, so I would know where they were - not in my book filled library. I read them in one location so I wouldn't lose them - none of this moving from chair to bed to chaise carrying a book around for me, that's a sure way to loss. And, because I tend to forget the plot immediately after reading it (and sometimes during) I took notes on a piece of paper that I left in the book so when I was done I could review what I thought when I read it.

Finally, I decided to review all three in one blog post so I wouldn't have to remember which one I'd done already.

So I had success this time, and you will see it below.





 Mani-Pedi Stat, by Deb Ebenstein.

This is a memoir by a "Jersey Girl" (that must mean something beside somebody who lives in New Jersey, right?)  who got Hodgkin's Disease when she was 16.  At that tender age, she had to face her mortality, a difficult thing to do at any age, but life-changing as a teenager.  She also had the painful treatments we all know too well - the hospitalizations, chemotherapy and radiation. Because of her changing appearance, bald and bloated from steroids - hard on a woman of any age but traumatic for a teenager - she focused on painting her nails as a way of hanging onto normality.

That is the running theme of the book: no matter how bad she looks or what cancer does to her, she can have the normality of a perfect manicure.  (Her nails didn't fall out like some of ours do, thank goodness.)  She becomes a "cancer citizen" and learns the rules of living with her disease, the lingo, and how to navigate through this medical lifestyle.  That is her youth, as it has been my middle years.

As she finishes her treatment and puts cancer behind her and goes off to college, she ends up being a party girl, living a "toxic" lifestyle, an outward manifestation of what she feels cancer and its treatment has done to her.  With help, she realizes she is using this lifestyle to hide behind her feelings over her  lost childhood.  And, as you might imagine, she has a second bout of cancer, this time breast, and comes into her own, dealing with it like a pro while managing a family and life and, of course, polishing her nails to perfection.

While this book is described as laugh-out-loud funny (who thought up that cliche anyway?) it is not. There were amusing parts, and I wouldn't call it a heavy book but it was more on the serious side, I thought, maybe because I have special inside knowledge into what she experienced.  There were sections that I did recognize as being very true and that anybody who has experienced cancer will relate to, especially the parts where she gets over the anguish of cancer discovery and learns to live in cancer world, and then has a difficult time transitioning out.  I think we all experience that to some degree, no matter the length of our treatment.

It is a highly readable coming of age memoir with cancer as the change that spurs growth. My only nit was I thought the author could have used the nail gimmick a bit more forcefully considering it is the name of the book and part of the cover - it seemed to be strong first and then petered out.  But I got an unedited version of the book and perhaps changes were made.    I truly liked the metaphor of the polish equating to her sense of normality.  I highly recommend this book as a light and real read that describes the cancer experience with truth.   I read it in two sittings.  

Because she does well and makes it through, I think the book with a few bottles of nail polish might be a good gift for anybody who has been recently diagnosed.

***



The Art of Adapting by Cassandra Dunn

This family story is told from four different viewpoints:  Lana, mother of two whose husband just left her, Matt, her brother who has Asberger's Syndrome, Lana's son Bryan, a teen struggling to find himself, and Lana's daughter Abby, a former honor student who is now struggling with an eating disorder.

Despite the fact that alternates voices, I found it easy to follow and quite an entertaining book. This was another one I read from start to finish.    Each character's voice was fresh, their individual story was intriguing and the way the author wove them all together to change them from a family in crisis to a family that learns to lean on each other was masterful. Each person had a tightly woven character that made me want to root for them.  Matt with his autism was the most amusing, with his odd ways yet observant and kind personality. The boy, Bryon, with his dream of being a Parkour expert and finding his way with girls was also an excellent character. Abby's eating disorder seemed more muddled to me, and the way her Uncle helped her through it was unique. Is it great art? Maybe not, but it is a good read and a wonderful way to spend a Sunday afternoon.  I would definitely read another book by this author.

While Lana finds a lump and has a cancer scare, it is not integral to the book and completely unrelatable to somebody like me who has end-stage cancer, so I only mention it because I believe that's why it was sent to me for review.  It is not a major plot devices and is really only a few sentences in the book.  The point is, this family has many secrets that they all learn to share to become a family.

I would recommend this book as a good novel for somebody who wants to take their minds off their day-to-day lives. It's a nice, summer, beachside read, or a nice cozy autumn fireplace read.   You can buy it in hardback, or in kindle.

***



Living Without the One You Cannot Live Without, by Natasha Josefowitz, PhD.

When I was offered this book, I was a bit hesitant.   It is poetry, and poetry has never been my genre.  Finding out that the woman who wrote it is in her late 80s made me change my mind.  I know that she has wisdom about life that many of us do not have, and a perspective that I likely will never get.  It is a book about grief and loss; her husband died of cancer and she described her feelings in poetry.  So I said I would read it and review it, as I know that grief is part of the cancer experience for far too many of us (and our families).

I'm very glad I left my comfort zone and read this book.  I am unable to judge good poetry from bad but I have to say, I really found this book moving.  She takes us through the early days of shock at her husband's death, to grief, and finally to acceptance and moving on. Her first poem describes how she feels, lost, not in the center of anybody's world any longer, at the periphery of the lives of others. She goes back in a couple of poems to describe the hospital experience with her husband, the stress of surgery, the realization that hospice is next.  Sadly, his death is just a sentence or two but very profound. She works through emotions and finally, acceptance comes, as it must:

"I used to dread
coming home in the evening
to silent, empty rooms
feeling so terribly alone
tonight for the first time
I looked forward to
some quiet time
in my quiet home
after a busy day
sitting down to read my mail
checking my computer
sitting down with a book
sitting alone
without feeling lonely
something has changed"

I highly, highly recommend this book for anybody who is going through the grieving process.  I believe it will help somebody feel less alone in their own grief, and also know what will come. Whether they feel angry or sorry for themselves, they will know they aren't alone in those feelings. It also is a very short read, one sitting for me, and the poems, as I have demonstrated above, are very accessible.  I believe that she gets to the heart of the feelings of grief.

If you don't know the right words to say to somebody who has suffered a terrible loss, perhaps just a card, a hug, and this book is enough.