My goal for pink October was one long post, detailing how egregious the marketing has become. I have had several people say that seeing it laid out that way opened their eyes. I do realize it was difficult to read and I apologize, but I do think it was important to have a long, pink line highlighting what has gone so wrong with the month.
Breast cancer does not exist solely in October. I live with it every day. While I am lucky enough to be in remission right now, it only takes a small thing to remind me how close to the brink I am.
I had a cold and sore throat, which is no big deal for most people. I, however, had lost some weight and got down to 94 pounds, which means I don't have reserves of strength to draw on. Then I went to get my therapy, and that day I crashed, hard. How I made it home, I am unsure, as I started feeling ill before I left the infusion room. I was fine when I walked in, and by the time I got home, I was in bed, vomiting, sweating, weak, shaking. No fever, but very ill. I spent 2 full days in bed, trying to eat soup but throwing it up. On day 3, I recovered, got up, shaky like a new born fawn. It is Day 5 and I am still weak but I ate eggs yesterday, soup, mashed potatoes and kept it all down.
Small things that for others go unnoticed, for me can cause devastation.
I learned: don't have a cold and get therapy at the same time. Next infusion, I will ask for the drip to be slowed, just in case I am starting to react to the meds.
Cancer, for me, is 24/7. My doctor told me that I am "on the edge" and he is right.
As are many of us who live with metastatic breast cancer. Our lives will never be normal again.
Next October, if you see this, don't bother dressing up in pink costumes for "breast cancer day" at your workplace. Find a cancer patient, bring her some soup. A blanket. Write her a card. Do something FOR somebody. Remember, that cancer is all year and for some of us, it is the rest of our lives.
On to November, Thanksgiving and the Holidays!
A favor: during this shopping season, if you buy things on Amazon, please remember to start your search from the box to your right on my page. I get 6% of all sales, and you don't have to do anything but start your search from here. Thank you!
Pain and Frustration
1 week ago