One thing I'm trying to learn as a result of breast cancer is not to be so ambitious and such a perfectionist.
People who have seen my housekeeping skills and know what I do for a living will be astounded at the thought that I consider myself an ambitious perfectionist, but in some areas, I am.
Here's an example: to announce the winner of Diana's book, I was going to record a video, as I did before with my last contest. I was going to pull the names out of something clever and post it on YouTube. That way you could also see my hair growth.
But, I'm still working long hours, not feeling particularly well, and am tired. I promised myself I'd do it yesterday but I forgot I had my herceptin appointment, so I didn't get home until after 6:00. I decided today was the day no matter what, but I got home late again. Before I remembered, I'd put on comfy house clothes, and a perfectionist like me would have to change to be "on camera." I also have a blemish that I would need to cover with makeup. The light is getting dark, so I'd need to find suitable light, interrupt my son's homework, find something clever to pull the names out of, upload it and edit it and make captions about the hair.....
......do you see what I do to myself?
Tomorrow is my anniversary so I knew I wouldn't do it then.
I started to feel guilty and normally I would have spiraled down into a guilt/avoidance behavior that would end up with me never posting the winner, and maybe taking down the blog because I couldn't do it the way I had envisioned.
The one thing cancer has done for me is make me more aware of my faults and strengths, and given me the impetus to overcome them.
So, the answer is simple: downsize my idea.
I looked across the table to where my son is sitting here doing his math homework.
Math......hmmm.....maybe I can have him pick a number and draw the winner that way. The poster who corresponds to the number he picks wins. I asked him to pick a number between 1 and 10. He picked six, so I counted down to post six, removing duplicates, and came up with a winner.
And, it happens to be my cousin, Daryl. Now, I realize that smacks of favoritism, but you'll have to trust me that the choice was fair and square. If you've been reading my blog since it began, I hope you have the sense that I'm not a cheater. Life is not fair - but when it can be, it should be.
Despite Daryl being my cousin, we are one of those families who loves each other but doesn't stay in touch very often. So, Daryl, I don't think I have your address since you moved. If I do, it's not in my phone.
Email me with it, and I'll contact the person who will send you the book.
I'll still upload a video of the hair at some point. The chemo curl is intense. I'm well on my way to sheepdom.