So, I tried to get out of having an x-ray. I really, really did. The nurse came in and got me and I said, "no thanks." I explained that I'd had several CT scans, a bone scan and had enough radiation to power a small IKEA lamp. She said she'd tell the doctor and see what he thought.
Hell, I figured it was pretty clear cut, some sort of ligament injury. Why x-ray me, it's not like my shoulder is broken.
The message back was, get an x-ray, there isn't that much radiation. I gave up and dutifully followed along. Like with raising children, you have to learn which battles to pick. I posed for my films and went back to the room.
My new, super darling (I wish I was 25 again) doctor came in and apologized for the x-ray but said "With your history...." a phrase I've heard before and will continue to hear. "With your history, we had to check. Cancer can metastasize to the shoulder."
I knew it was a tear though, so I wasn't worried about that.
He pushed and pulled on my arm and made it hurt really bad. I was thinking there'd better be a lollipop afterwards. Then he pulled up my x-rays and said something startling.
"I don't want to scare you but do you see that spot right there?" And, he pointed to a white spot on my arm that was nowhere near my shoulder and was caught just by happenstance. I nodded, calmly. "We need to get that looked at. It's could be nothing but with your history...." He added, "If it is cancer, than I'm the one to deal with it, my specialty is tumors."
All I'm thinking is, "some lollipop."
If it is cancer, that really is not a very good sign. I only finished herceptin six weeks ago. If it's an old injury, that's not a very good sign either, because I don't remember it. Either way, I lose. Bad memory, bad bones.
Now, for the good news: my shoulder problem is almost certainly a labral tear. A labral SLAP tear. Unfortunately, that sounds a lot dirtier than it is. Apparently, the labrum is part of the shoulder that athletes, such as myself, injure frequently, doing the same kinds of things that I do. Like, getting out of bed. It could be frayed, and then will get better on its own. Or, it can be torn, and then surgery has to be performed.
I'm to keep doing PT (although it doesn't work for tears) until I have an arthro-MRI to determine what exactly is going on in there. No cortisone shot as it doesn't help this particular injury. I'm just going to have to live with this pain.
And, about that spot on my bone?
Time will tell.
PTSD and Cancer
2 days ago