Monday, September 26, 2011

No Prob...

A salesman just called me. Normally, I don't answer my home phone - ever. It's my spam phone, and one I give out to everybody I don't want to talk to since I don't answer it.

But for some reason, I accidentally did. It must be my sickness making me slightly insane.

"Hi, I'm trying to reach Ann?"

"This is she."

"Hi Ann. This is Brad from California Family Fitness. I see you used to be a member and canceled your membership, and I was just wondering why?"

"Well, you see Brad, I've been diagnosed with Stage IV Breast Cancer, and there is no Stage V. I've been pretty busy with surgeries and chemo and am not well enough to exercise."

"No prob, no prob. Ann, we'd be happy to offer you a two week trial to get you back."

Momentary stunned silence from me.

"No thanks, Brad. Next week they are removing most of my liver, and like I said, I have stage IV cancer and it's possible I won't even be alive next year. So I don't think I'm going to be joining a fitness club."

"No prob, Ann, no prob. Well, you have a good night."

I am so wishing, since Brad thinks this is not a problem, that HE could be the one to deal with it instead of me.

Cut off your breast? Lose your hair? Perpetual chemo? The omnipresent thought of your 14 year old having to watch you die?

No prob.



  1. I'm picturing Brad Pitt's socially dense and fitness-obsessed character "Chad" in the Coen Bros. film _Burn After Reading_. What an asshole.

  2. Wow, Brad must be a cold hearted sob! I know you wish you could rewind time and not answer that call? Frustrating!!! I want you to know though, that I am totally praying for you and your surgery, and that no more cooties get to you before you get to the hospital. I pray nothing happens to prevent your ground breaking operation. I am wishing you blessings, good luck, great mojo, and all the other ings and isms that bring goodness your way

  3. Been thinking of you, Ann, and sending prayers your way! That person, Brad from the fitness company, was probably a 20-something kid who never stops to think about anything other than his biceps. Sorry you answered the call, but maybe your responses will make him a bit more empathetic the next time he phones someone going through tough health issues. Hoping you have a better day today.

  4. Wow. Talk about going from a script and not LISTENING!

    I sure hope you'll be around next year and well enough to re-join a gym. Good luck with surgery on Monday!!

  5. What an insensitive dolt that Brad must be.

  6. He's probably about 19 years old and has absolutely NO idea whatever about cancer, and as Garfield said, was reading from a script. But I too hope you will be able to join a gym again one day and worry about cellulite and all that other boring stuff we middle aged gals are supposed be worrying about--not chemo, not scans, not mortality rates, not statistics, not scar tissue, not doctor bills, not insurance co-pays, not side effects, not ill-fitting wigs, not pills, and not all the annoying pink bullsh*t.

  7. Did you hear him rustling the pages of his script looking for "stage 4 cancer"? By the way, I had the same mental image of Praelior...


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