Monday, September 21, 2009

Another day, another test

So, today I called my new BFF, (Breast Friend Forever) Leslie, who works in Dr. Raja's office. I've talked to her more in the past three weeks than I have to my mother in the past ten years.

Because Leslie and I are so close, I felt comfortable whining about the difficulty I'm having in making a proper decision about my health, and I asked if she could have Dr. Raja call me back. She said he was in surgery but he would probably call in, and she'd be happy to pass a message along. Being as close as we are, I could tell she was hesitant about it - she wasn't sure what message to pass along. You know how you can just read your friends minds, even over the phone?

So, I confessed, as you only would to your closest friend (or online in a blog) that this cancer has gotten bigger since I first found it, and what used to be a light burning feeling is now a deep ache, and I felt that it's time to do something and pretty fast. But what, I ask? I confide that I need help making that decision. I shared that my recent MRI results had suggested that a new test, an MRI-guided core biopsy, might be appropriate, and I wanted to discuss with Dr. Raja. She says, like all good friends do, that she totally understands.

It wouldn't be a conversation between girlfriends without a little bitching, so I complained that I'd called the oncologist, Dr. Blair, on Friday morning and he'd still not called me back.

Clearly, nobody in that office wants to be my BFF.

She sympathized, then we hung up and I went back to work, having enjoyed a nice little break.

As all good girlfriends do, Leslie called right me back. She'd talked to Dr. Raja and he said I should have that MRI-guided core biopsy.

(I pictured him picking up the phone to call his office during a surgery - amputated breasts in buckets, him having to ask the nurse to dial for him due to his bloody gloves, nude and breastless patients unconscious in front of him. Kind of like Dexter but he gets paid a lot more.)

Leslie is going to set it up. What would I do without her? I hope she likes to shoe shop.

So, here we are again. Another test. Another wait.

Another opportunity to be annoyed by daytime TV.

This is the final one though. I have to make a decision after this. At least it will be as informed as it gets. I think, after this test, we should know exactly how far the cancer is in my breast, and if I get to keep it.

Or not. Maybe there are more tests ahead of me. I had a mammogram and a sonogram and a stereotactic biopsy, and an ultrasound-guided core biopsy and an MRI, and now an MRI-guided core biopsy - maybe there is an sonogram-guided mammogram stereotactic biopsy as well.

I'll have to call my BFF and ask.

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